Recently, we celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary, a rare achievement these days. During the course of our married life, we tried to follow the following 10 commandments. I would like to share them with you in the hope that they will provide some guidance to you as well.
Whether it is a love marriage, arranged marriage or forced marriage, differences are bound to arise. Both of you come from different backgrounds, upbringings and environments. You must be ready to forgive for any sharp differences, lapses or shortcomings.
Early in the morning, both spouses should try to remain calm and cool. No discussions or arguments in the early morning hours.
Forgive and forget and keep on doing it, even if you have to repeat this process for unlimited times.
Physical Love is good, but there has to be genuine spiritual love also in your heart. Your immediate neighbour is your own spouse. So let charity begin at home and set an example by loving your spouse first and foremost. You will follow the scripture “Love thy neighbour as thyself”
When you leave home for work in the morning, be on your best behaviour. If one of you is provoked or complains, silence is the best answer. Conversely, you can say ‘we will discuss it in the evening’
When returning home, enquire and take interest in one another\’s activity during the day -“Did you have a good day”? “You must have been very busy”, etc etc. Prove this by your genuine appreciation, sympathy and smile.
Do listen to your spouse attentively and sympathetically. Never ignore. Even at your place of work, if you get a telephone call from your partner, be polite and courteous, in spite of your busy schedule.
Make use of “Thank you”, “Well done”, ‘You have done a good job’, and “I am sorry”, as frequently as is necessary. Be generous in your praise and compliments.
Do not enter into comparisons. No one is 100% perfect or 100% imperfect. We all have flaws and shortcomings. Always look upon the good qualities of your spouse.
Be cheerful and smile away your problems. Give a smile as often as you can. Only a human person is endowed with this blessing. Animals do not have this rare faculty. Moreover, you use 20 muscles for a smile but 70 muscles for a frown. Keep smiling.
May the Supreme Lord bless you and your spouse.